7 Traits of a Unicorn: How To Have Good Energy People Notice

You know those people who stand out because they have a special energy to them and you feel better when you’re around them? They’re also the people who are resilient - they bounce back after hard days, and they seem to be living life to the fullest. They aren’t afraid to fail. Those people are breaking the norm and being a “unicorn”. 

Being a unicorn isn’t a destination or something you’re born with. It’s a daily choice and way of navigating life. In this episode, I share the 7 traits of a unicorn: Uplifts and Unites, Nervous system regulation, Inner compass, Compassion/curiosity/connection, Objective vs subjective thinking, Respect for Resilience, and Breaking the Norm. You’ll find lots of examples and insightful tips on how to cultivate these traits using an understanding of how your brain and body work.

Listening to this episode will inspire you to break the norm in order to create a positive ripple effect in your life and in the people and communities around you. 

🦄 To jumpstart breaking the norm and being a unicorn, it starts with treating yourself with compassion and prioritizing basic necessities.
Sign up for the 'Choose Your Own Adventure 7 day Unicorn Challenge to experience what a huge difference a simple habit can make on your overall energy and mood: www.lifeboost.today/unicornchallenge

Unicorn vet hospital survey: www.lifeboost.today/unicornhospitalsurvey

Time stamps:

00:00 Welcome to Life Boost with Amelia

00:59 The Power of Being a Unicorn

02:53 Seven Traits of a Unicorn

05:01 Uplift and Unite

18:13 Nervous System Regulation

26:56 Inner Compass

30:57 Experimenting with Food and Energy Levels

33:15 Understanding and Differentiating Fear

34:28 Trusting Your Inner Wisdom

37:39 Compassion, Curiosity, and Connection

43:47 Objective vs. Subjective Thinking

50:28 Respect for Resilience

57:36 Breaking the Norm

01:01:48 Unicorn Challenge and Conclusion

Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical, mental health, or professional advice. I am a certified health and life coach, not a licensed medical or mental health professional. Please consult with a healthcare provider before making any changes to your physical or mental health routines. If you are experiencing a crisis, seek help from a qualified professional or contact emergency services.

Connect with me on your favorite social media channel: Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn!

To learn more about my approach and the programs and free resources available to support you, visit my website: www.lifeboost.today

I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the Life Boost with Amelia podcast where we're changing the narrative around what true health and success look like. They should give you energy, not drain it. I'm your host, Dr. Amelia multi-passionate integrative health and life coach, entrepreneur, and recovered burnout veterinarian. Together, we'll explore the science behind how your brain and body work, including the unconscious mind while also connecting with what your heart needs in order to stand up to the norm of feeling stuck on a hamster wheel-working hard yet feeling exhausted and not where you want to be- and instead live a life that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning and in love with who you see when you look in the mirror. The reality is if you do what everyone else is doing, you're not going to feel good. Let's break the norm. Hi friend. You know, those people who just have a very special energy to them. Like they lift up those around them. When you are with them, you can feel some of their good energy and maybe you feel calmer. They help you to feel seen. You feel more uplifted and lighter when you are around them. And they're resilient. Like they are able to bounce back after hard days and they aren't afraid to go after their dreams, even if there's a chance that they may fail. They're the kind of person you know, at the end of their life is not going to have regrets because they went for and prioritize the things that mattered. They really lived their life. Those people stand out. Because they're doing something differently. They're being what I call unicorns. And I say being, because it's not a destination or something that you're born with. It's a choice and way of navigating life. And I call it being a unicorn, because when you choose to navigate life in this way, you are going to stand out. People are going to notice because there's something magical about you. And that's in contrast to the norm where if you look around the norm is to be unhealthy, unhappy, and overextended. And if that is because that is what our systems and society lead to, if you do what everybody else is doing, or if you do what we have been taught to do. And so if you want to feel good inside and out, if you want to be one of those people who just has this great energy coming from within that, others can feel around you. If you want to have that resilience. Then you have to be willing to break the norm and be a unicorn. And so today I'm going to share seven traits of a unicorn and conveniently unicorn is the acronym for them. So that it's very easy for you to remember. And I promise if you choose to be a unicorn this week and to put any one of these into practice, you will notice such a powerful shift in your energy. And the people around you are going to notice that shift in your energy too. And they're going to want to know what you're doing. And I am recording this on an interesting day. Trump is being inaugurated. It's also Martin Luther king Jr. Day. And if you are feeling a little bit, weighed down with the current state of our world right now, Martin Luther King Jr. had a perfect quote,"only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars." I really want to empower you to think, when you embrace being a unicorn you are helping to light up any darkness in your life because you are creating a huge energy shift. And also just like I said, those around you are going to notice. And so it may feel sometimes like there are things in this world that you're not very happy about. And that can feel so overwhelming, Whether that's world events or in your job or your relationships. But truly by prioritizing you and really leaning into breaking the norm and being a unicorn, you are going to experience such a powerful ripple effect in your own life. And also you're going to be creating positive ripple effects with those that you interact with in your communities and in the world. And to help you to get jump-started on that experience and that shift, I have a fun, new choose your own adventure unicorn challenge that I'm going to tell you more about at the end, you can also learn more in the show notes. But for now, let's dive into the seven traits of a unicorn. So in this unicorn acronym, the U stands for uplifts and unites. When you are being a unicorn, you are talking to yourself and others in a way that uplifts and unites, rather than getting caught up in polarization, judgment, or blame. You are assuming the best in yourself and others and you are looking for proof of that. So you are not suffering from comparisonitis, right? You can appreciate the beauty and success in others, while also appreciating and having confidence in your own unique beauty, successes, and timeline. Because when you're comparing, there can be this tendency, that one thing is better than the other. It's like that black and white thinking. Right? But someone else could have a feature that you find beautiful, or they can have achieved certain things in their life that you really admire, and also you can have different features and a different timeline and that can be amazing for you. So to give you a personal example. I have a small chest. And for a very long time, I was so insecure about that. I felt like that was a part of me that I needed to hide or almost apologize for. Because we are in a society where curves in women is considered beautiful. And so I would look at other women and really admire that they had that. And then I would compare my own body and I would feel completely inferior. I felt like I wasn't as feminine or as much of a woman compared to others. And that was so draining how awful to feel embarrassed by my body or like I had to apologize for it or that there was something wrong. And it was only because there was this black and white thinking of okay. Thinking curves= beautiful. And so I don't have curves, which means I'm not beautiful. And it was such a liberating shift when I recognized I can appreciate the beauty of another woman. And also I can appreciate my own body. And as I started to instead think about, okay, what clothes do I feel like are flattering? What can I get away with because I have a smaller chest? And when I started to not see that it had to be either or, and that it could be both. That was so huge in terms of my confidence in feeling comfortable in my body. This is so important, especially in our society and with social media, it just can be so easy to see somebody else's appearance or body, and to compare yourself to theirs. And when there is that insecurity, that is when there starts to be judgment or we're unkind to each other. Because if you can see a flaw in somebody else, then that can make you feel better about your own body in comparison. And that doesn't feel good to anybody. Right. And so when instead you can see your own unique beauty and completely own that. Then you can actually see and appreciate someone else's beauty, without that making you feel any smaller or less than. Then instead you are both coming together and being empowered, beautiful humans who are working together. Which is so what we need. So when you are being a unicorn, you are not letting your inner critic run the show, right? Those negative judgmental thoughts that we all have do not have to control you. Because there is that higher part of you, right. That can observe those thoughts. You can observe the thoughts and you can also choose to replace those thoughts with much more empowering thoughts that feel better. So often those negative judgmental thoughts or that inner critic stems from comparing yourself to somebody else. And so it may be that you see someone posting on social media about how many things they got done in a day. And you have like spent the day on the couch. Not feeling very productive. And so your inner critic may have all these thoughts about, oh, you should be doing more or you're so lazy. When you are being a unicorn, you can observe those thoughts and then you can call them out. You can notice how that is the opposite of being uplifting and uniting, right. And recognizing that you are on your own journey and you can not compare yourself to somebody else. And so instead you can replace that by celebrating. I am noticing that I have no energy and no motivation today. I have had a busy week or things are feeling, like a lot right now. I am going to honor that my body is in more of a freeze and shut down. I am really going to embrace rest. And I'm so proud of myself for resting, even though I can observe that there's a part of me that wishes I could always be productive all the time. And recognizing that since that's not possible and not sustainable, what a win that you're giving yourself some time on the couch. See what a difference that makes when you are speaking to yourself that way? When you are speaking to yourself that way, that's when you are also going to be able to uplift those around you. Because the energy and confidence is coming from within. And this also means that other people's perspectives and opinions are not a threat to you either. Right? Because we're moving. past this black and white thinking, this comparison, this good versus bad. And we are all on the same level. And that is how we unite. So let's go over an example of what that looks like for a group of people or a business, because individually. You can absolutely be a unicorn, but then you can also be a unicorn, for example, as a veterinary hospital and I'm putting together a list of unicorn vet hospitals a way of uplifting and empowering our profession and making it easy to see and celebrate the practices that are really standing out and leading positive, sustainable change. and a part of that is my workplace satisfaction and wellbeing survey also called the unicorn vet hospital survey. And that is free and available to any vet practice that wants to participate. And basically to give their team a safe, confidential space to have their voice heard and to provide honest feedback. And then the practice gets a report of the main findings to identify their strengths and areas that have room for improvement. Now it's not so much the initial results of that survey that determines if a practice is a unicorn. It is the way that they respond to those results. Because if they're participating in the survey for the first time, like unless they have been providing a safe, confidential space for their team to be individually providing feedback, there are probably going to be some surprises. And some areas where maybe some employees are not satisfied. And the way that the leaders react to that feedback either has the power to really uplift and unite the whole practice or it can cause a big divide and really cause a lot of heaviness and stress and frustration for people. And the difference is whether they are viewing feedback and different opinions as threatening versus an opportunity to unite and uplift everybody. Because when you are being a unicorn, you recognize that we are all experiencing our reality in our own unique way. We all have different perspectives. There's nobody else who is experiencing life in the same way that you are, even if you are in the exact same place at the same time, seeing the same thing. You are going to experience it in different ways. And so when someone else has a different opinion or perspective than you. That is an opportunity. That is an opportunity to see something from a broader lens. And especially when you are looking to problem solve or you have a challenge. Imagine trying to solve a puzzle, but only having one puzzle piece and trying to see the whole picture. You can't right?. But imagine if everybody on the veterinary team has their own unique puzzle piece, because they are seeing that reality from their own way. And if you see all those different perspectives as an opportunity, like puzzle pieces, to see how they all fit together. How uplifting and uniting, right? Because now everyone is helping to work towards the common goal or the vision that the practice has. And that is absolutely crucial in order to have psychological safety in the workplace. Having a culture and environment where it is safe and where you are welcome to give honest feedback and to share how you are feeling without fear that the way that you are feeling or your opinions are going to be wrong, or there are going to be negative consequences for it. So I think you're getting the idea of what it means to uplift and unite. We'll move on to the rest of the acronym, but given today's current political climate. I really invite you to think about what this means when it comes to someone who has different political views, maybe a different political party from you. How can you not see different perspectives or opinions as a threat, but how can it be an opportunity? How can you focus on ways to unite? How can you focus on ways to uplift everybody? Rather than making assumptions or looking at things from kind of a hierarchical way of one being right, one being wrong, one being good, the other bad. How can you find common ground and assume the best in a person, not the worst. And one important thing to note is that this uplifting, especially if it's those around you, is not people pleasing. There's going to be a big difference between the way that each of those impact energy. If you are people pleasing and that is like saying things that do maybe help other people to feel good or maybe to feel good about you. That is coming from a place of lack or of fear and needing to say something in order for the other person to think about you in a certain way, or you want to say something that makes them feel good because you want them to behave a certain way towards you. And that is more like self-sacrificing, pouring from an empty cup, and it's going to feel draining. With this approach, the energy and your motivation to be uplifting to those around you is coming from the fact that you are speaking to yourself in a very uplifting way. Your sense of self-worth comes from within. It doesn't matter what other people think of you. And you can be choosing to think the best in others and to be uplifting and it's okay however, they respond to that. It's not about that. It is about you having good energy and choosing to have interactions with others in a way that feels good. Not because the other person is responding in a positive way but because for you, it feels so much better to assume the best in somebody or two appreciate or admire something about someone instead of having negative or judgmental thoughts about them or how that relates to you. Okay. Onto N: N stands for nervous system regulation. This is such a game changer because this is the universal language. We are all-humans and animals-hardwired this way, where our nervous system is calling the shots. And when you start to look at things from a nervous system perspective, you have a super power because you are able to see and understand things about yourself and others that most people aren't consciously aware of. And that helps you to be proactive and in tune with how to interact with yourself and others instead of being reactive. And I'm not going to dive into this too much in this episode, because I mentioned nervous system regulation, probably in every single podcast episode. Definitely check out episode 73"from survival to thriving. How a fear for your approach for humans will transform the vet profession and your own life" because that really talks a lot about stress responses and trauma responses. But when I say looking at things from a nervous system perspective, it means that you recognize the signs of being in a nice, parasympathetic, relaxed, safe and social state compared to being in flight or fight, fawn, or freeze and shut down. And that is really key to having that good energy of a unicorn and having resilience because you are listening to what your nervous system is telling you, and you are able to use that to make choices so that things are sustainable. So an example of that is that I was just at the AVMA leadership veterinary conference last week. And conferences are always a whirlwind. There's so much happening. There are lectures. There's networking, social events, on top of travel. And there was an evening trivia networking event that I was looking forward to. But it was at the end of the day. And I had really been enjoying myself, but I noticed right as it was becoming time to go to it. That there was a shift in the way that I felt. Instead of really enjoying interactions and having good energy, that unicorn energy, I noticed some resistance and I noticed that there was starting to be a dip in my mood. And I just really wasn't feeling like I wanted to be around people anymore. And I felt conflicted because all day I'd been planning and looking forward to going to this event. And I had gone to the conference to connect with people that was going to be an opportunity to do it. I felt like I should, I had traveled here and I should make the most of it. But my body and nervous system were telling me something very different. And I went to the event, I arrived there. And I just tuned into my energy and I realized no, I am done for the day. I had a networking event the next morning, and I wanted to be able to show up to that from that unicorn energy. And I knew that if I stayed there, It was going to be a late night. I was going to be pushing my nervous system when it was already telling me it was time to have some time on my own to recharge. And if I stayed, I probably was going to feel irritable at the end and I was probably going to have regret. And so I chose to leave and an important thing to know is that leaving early and not participating I did not feel unicorn energy there. I had a little bit of FOMO, you know, and like feeling like I was missing out. But I trusted my body. And I wanted to respect my body. Instead of getting caught up in what I thought that I should do. And. The moment I walked out of the building. It was in Chicago in January, so it was really cold. I felt such a huge relief. I felt so good. I had been walking around in the convention center, but I hadn't been outside all day. And my body needed that. I was so happy to be walking outside in the snow feeling that cold air. I went and got a giant salad from whole foods. And then I just had some time in my hotel room. I started to watch a show. I went to bed early and the next day I had such a fun networking breakfast. It was one of my favorite events of the entire trip. And that was because I had listened to my body and what it was telling me so that I could be thoughtful. And so that I could show up to that breakfast with that unicorn energy instead of staying and trying to interact with people that evening, when I was feeling depleted and I wasn't going to be able to interact with people in a way that was going to feel my best. And so even though the moment, like when I was deciding to leave there was that part of me that was worrying that I would be missing out or thinking about what I should do. I trusted my body and my body told me so quickly that I had made the right decision in the huge relief and happiness. I felt when I was outside and the next day, the way that I was able to show up. And so being a unicorn does not mean that you always feel incredible, but there is that resilience, right? And the huge part of resilience is because you are listening to what you're nervous system is saying and prioritizing the things you need to help your body to reestablish safety and to recharge. And for me, being outside and walking is so important. And then also having time to be on my own. I am an ambivert really. So I do love being around people and then there's time when I need to be alone. And my body was just letting me know that that was time to start to prioritize what I needed to help my nervous system to feel safe. And this nervous system approach. Also, is so helpful for interacting with others because you can recognize that somebody, for example, a difficult client who seems like they're being rude. You can recognize that they are in the fight stress response. And so that gives you really valuable information that something about their internal experience is feeling stressful or overwhelming or threatening in some way. And that does not mean that it's something personal about you. It just means that that is their experience. And you can get curious about what that is and what needs to happen to reestablish safety. And in my last podcast episode, we talked about the new senior dog veterinary certification that's available. And it's really powerful because it's helping to give words to things that senior pet parents experience like caregiver burden or anticipatory grief. Those things have a dramatic impact on their quality of life. And we don't see that when they are sitting in an exam room with us. And yet it may be that they're walking in with their stress balloon, like ready to pop because they are feeling so much stress and anxiety or sadness, trying to care for their pet. And so when you are being a unicorn, You are having that nervous system perspective, recognizing that that is just a human experiencing something hard. You are not absorbing their negative energy and you are able to instead focus on what needs to happen to reestablish safety and really embracing that fear free approach. That really helps to unite and uplift everyone going back to the, U. All right. So we have the, you is unite and uplift. The N has nervous system regulation. And the I is inner compass. So when you are being a unicorn, you are turning to your inner compass and inner wisdom. You know that you are the only one who knows what is best for you and what direction to go in. You are in tune with your core values and you use your body as your guiding light including your nervous system. And you have a confidence that comes from within because you trust yourself. And so that's in stark contrast from turning to external things for validation or to decide what you should do or to determine how you feel about yourself or your sense of self-worth. So this is kind of nebulous. So let's go over some more concrete examples to give you an idea of what I mean. So one common source of external validation when it comes to health is relying on the scale or calories. And that is really distracting you and disconnecting you from your body, right? Because you are getting on a scale and that random number is supposed to tell you whether you should feel good about yourself or whether you are healthy. It cannot tell you that. Right? And so instead it would mean if you are being a unicorn, you are probably ditching the scale, recognizing that it's really not telling you anything useful. And instead you're tuning into what your body is telling you about your food choices or your exercise, or your lifestyle. And so that could mean you're tuning into noticing your energy. You are noticing if you feel like you are getting stronger with workouts or you getting injured a lot, or are you weak? Are you feeling strong and lean? Are you feeling bloated? How is your sleep quality? You are tuning into your body and what it is telling you and using that as feedback in order to make adjustments. And really getting clear on the why behind your goals. Like if you were wanting to lose weight or gain weight, what's the why behind that? How do you want to feel? And, and just remembering that if you are relying on those external things, if you're just Eating a certain number of calories per day, because some calculator told you that that was how many you should have. Or you're wanting to see a number because you've determined that as good. Well, how do you feel though? Because ultimately that's what matters and those numbers can really distract you and can actually disconnect you from that feeling. If you are feeling more stressed or you're feeling deprived, or you are feeling weak because you're trying to stay within a certain number you've decided is good, Instead of tuning into your body's own hunger and satiety cues and if those are feeling like they're off, really getting curious about why, what is your body telling you about something that is missing in order for it to feel satisfied? And that can be both mental and physical components, but when you are really tuning into your body and trusting that your body is trying to do what is best for you that leads to healthy habits that feel really energizing instead of draining. And one really fun experiment you could do. If you don't feel super connected with like how food makes you feel or understanding what amounts of food work best for your unique body. You could do something like. Get 150 calories of chicken breast, eat that and see how you feel. And then compare that to, if you eat 150 calories of bread. Versus 150 calories of nut butter. Or a nutrition bar. Or broccoli. That can be really eye-opening to see, okay. When I have like this real source of protein, what does that do to my energy, my satiety, versus when I have that same number of calories, but it's in bread form. So mainly a carb. How do I feel with that? What about with nut butter when it's a really small volume, but it's energy dense. What does that do to your energy and satiety? What about a nutrition bar that's maybe supposed to be healthy, but it has some weird ingredients in it. How do you feel with that also really tuning into if you have any GI issues, because so many of those bars have sugar alcohols and that kind of thing that can really contribute to GI upset. Versus broccoli noticing. Wow. what a huge volume. 150 calories of broccoli would be like, maybe you can't even eat that many. And that can just be really fun so that you can start noticing how much protein feels good. What volume of food do you need in order to feel satisfied? What is the difference between when you have protein with carbs versus protein, with healthy fats, and what combination of those? Really just embracing your inner researcher and paying attention to and getting curious about how food makes you feel, can just be so liberating when it comes to food and getting to nourish your body in a way that feels good. Another example would be being in tune with your fear. And being able to differentiate between when it is a good fear. a fear that comes with going outside of your comfort zone because you are growing in a really amazing way. Versus when something is a fear of like that is a no, because it's totally out of alignment. And that is something where I used to just like anything that felt scary, I wouldn't want to do it, but the more that I learned how to tune into my body, And I also use what my body was telling me to get clear on what my core values are. That has helped me so much to be able to differentiate between those two fears so that I can go after and do those scary things that are coming from like a fear of like, Ooh, this is expansive. This is stepping into energy I'm not used to, or this is me growing. Versus something that is just like I do not want to do that. And the only way that you start being able to trust your inner wisdom is experimenting and starting to listen to your body. And that could absolutely start with just listening to the most basic messages from your body like if you are used to having to go to the bathroom, but then being like, no, I'm too busy. Or not drinking water or not honoring when you are hungry or satisfied. Those cues really just starting to tune into those is a really a great place to start to start trusting yourself and what your body is telling you. And again, tuning into your energy, just noticing the things that give you energy and the things that drain your energy can be so huge because there are things that can feel scary, but on the other side of that, It feels so amazing and helps you to feel so alive. Versus something that's scary and then you just feel like really drained and you were like, I wish that I had not done that. And relying on your inner compass doesn't mean that you don't have outside support. But there is a huge difference between support that thinks it knows what's best for you and is trying to tell you what you should do and trying to fit into a box. Versus support that is helping you to trust yourself more, to tune into and get clear on your core values. And it can feel really tempting to turn to those resources that will just tell you what to do because that, so often it can be easier, at least in the short term, then building trust and trying to get clear on who you are, what your style is. What your values are. But when you are being the unicorn and you are turning to your inner compass, The things that you do, and the changes you make are going to be so much more sustainable and they're going to be contributing to that good energy. And that confidence that comes from within right. It's like, whether that is the way that you are fueling your body, whether that is decisions that you're making for your business, whether those are the clothes that you're wearing and your style. Sure you can do what other people think that you should do, but does that feel good to you, right. And not needing to rely on external validation, not needing to survey others to try to decide what to do. Instead, if you can build that trust with yourself and your inner compass. That is when you are able to just walk into a room and have that good energy that people notice. It's that authenticity. So we have U is for uplifts and unites, N is for nervous system regulation, I as for inner compass, and then we have C. C is for the three Life Boost C's compassion, curiosity, and connection. And I talk about those in many episodes that we don't need to dive too much into it. There is also a specific episode, I believe, episode. Episode 64 that talks about them. But let's really lean into curiosity with compassion and connection. So judgment stalls progress and Smothers joy, right? Like judgment leads you nowhere good. But curiosity opens doors to endless possibilities. And you want that curiosity to be coming from a place of compassion. Right? And so, for example, if you make a mistake, You are not going to meet it with curiosity of like, why am I so stupid? That is just judgment phrased as a question. If you are being a unicorn and you make a mistake, then you are getting curious with compassion, thinking about why is it understandable that this happened? You are collecting data. What led up to that point? Was there a system in place that made it easy to make that mistake and what could be changed to help, to set myself up better for the future? How is that connected to something else? For example, say you were calculating a drug dose and you use pounds instead of kg's. Was that connected to some other things? What else was happening in that moment, were you multitasking? Had you not had any food or sleep earlier that day? Looking at how things were connected, leading up to it. If you have a habit that doesn't feel good or that you feel like you want to break it. Uh, bringing in that compassion and curiosity: why is it understandable that you do it? So what is that feeling that you get when you are doing that quote unquote, bad habit, because that is a feeling that you desire. Are there alternative ways that you could get that feeling? Are you getting that feeling throughout the day at any other point? For example, if you're eating certain food that you have noticed just makes you feel pretty crappy, but you keep eating it anyways, while you're eating it in that moment, is it giving you pleasure? Is it giving you just a moment of peace? And if you look throughout your day, are there any other moments when you are really getting to give yourself permission to have pleasure or to pause and to release stress and then thinking, okay, how could I prioritize that more? And what do I want to do instead of that habit, how can I replace it in a way that is more nourishing. And with any habit that you want to break, I also think it's worth exploring, why do you feel like you need to break that habit? What specifically about it isn't good. Is it because someone else or something has made you feel like it's a bad thing to do? Or is it genuinely not feeling good to you? For example, I have clients who will feel like they should really limit carbs because carbs are bad. And like, why is that, right? Is that just because our society and certain messaging makes it feel like carbs are a bad thing? Or is it genuinely not working for your body? And then that goes back to turning to your inner compass, right. And just tuning into how is this making my body feel? Is this actually true? Or actually is limiting carbs contributing to a cycle of unhealthy eating or not being able to sleep well because I'm not giving my body what it needs or recognizing that carbs is such a big category and there can be so many nourishing important plants within that category compared to something that's ultra processed. And then even diving deeper, you can get curious about, well, are there ways that I can enjoy carbs that help me to feel more the way that I want to feel? Like if that is negatively impacting your blood sugar. Are there things that I can do to have more stable blood sugar, like going for a walk after eating or pairing it with protein and healthy fats, Or by changing the order in which you're eating things and eating the carb part last, can you see how curiosity just leads you down so many doors and to so many possibilities. And any time you are feeling stuck or feeling a challenge, if you turn to these three CS, Compassion, curiosity and connection, they will always help you to move forward in a way that feels good. And that is so key for these unicorns, right? Where you have that good energy and you have that resilience because you can do hard things. You can make mistakes, you can fail. And as long as you are meeting it with curiosity, from a place of compassion and looking at how things are connected. And being connected to yourself. You are unstoppable. Okay. So let's recap because repetition is key. The U is for unite and uplift. N- nervous system regulation. I Inner compass, C-the three CS compassion, curiosity, and connection. O, that stands for objective versus subjective. So unicorns know that your thoughts and beliefs influence the way that you experience life. And they are not necessarily an accurate representation of reality. And so when you are being a unicorn, you are aware and curious of your own biases and you are conscious of the stories that you're telling when something isn't going right or when it's not feeling good. So we were just talking about making mistakes. So along those same lines, let's go over an example of if you experienced imposter syndrome, right? Like if you feel like you can't do anything, right. If you feel like you don't belong, you are not qualified. Then if you are being objective versus subjective, You are going to fact check those thoughts. Because I bet there's a whole lot of proof that you actually do belong and you are super qualified. It's just that your brain filter needs a change. And so with imposter syndrome, your brain filter, your reticular activating system, is primed to notice all the times you make mistakes or when you feel like you don't belong. And your brain filter is not even showing you the times when you are actually doing really well. And you can definitely change your brain filter by doing simple things like writing down your successes every day. If you've been listening to this podcast, I'm sure you've heard me talk about this before, because it is such a life changing habit and so good for your confidence. When you write down your successes every day, you are having to search for them. And so your brain is going to notice them more. And your brain tends to have a negativity bias, so it's going to put more weight on negative things. You need to see like three positive things to counteract, like one negative thing. And so in your day you, say you are seeing appointments all day. Like probably the majority of them go great. But the one that your brain is going to want to remember is the one where you felt like maybe you didn't know what you were doing, or it didn't go as well as it could have. If you are writing down your successes, you're going to start seeing all the proof that you are really amazing at what you do. Being objective is also hugely helpful when interacting with others and becoming aware of the assumptions and the snap judgements that we can make, or the stories that we can tell about someone in our own head when it's not actually reality. So I can give an example of a client that I had. So she came in with her dog that was past due on everything. So first the tech went into the room and went over the different things that the dog was due for. And she was pretty short with him and just declined everything. And so initially it seemed like she was kind of a bitch, right? Like she didn't care. She had a pretty stern expression and just was clearly not wanting to be there. And it seemed like she wasn't really caring about her dog. But from that objective lens and also taking in that nervous system perspective and also curiosity, all I knew was that she was here. With her dog. And her dog was past due for everything. And she had said no. That was all I knew. Right. There is nothing about her not caring or even being a terrible person or being a bitch. All of those things were just like initial assumptions, right? And so I just started to do the physical exam, started to have a conversation with her and started to get a little bit curious and just asking some questions. And what I discovered was that her husband had just passed away and he had done everything for this dog. So she didn't know about any of these preventatives, anything. She was just so overwhelmed from the loss of her husband. Her nervous system was so overwhelmed. The fact that she was even there trying to take care of her dog was incredible. And so can you imagine if we had believed those initial snapshot judgments, or if we had told stories that would have caused that divide. Right? And maybe she would have even left without getting any of the care because she was overwhelmed about finances because of the loss and all of the stress that comes with losing somebody that you love. But instead, we were able to just look at the facts and just get curious. And to reestablish safety. And that was a way to be able to support this pet owner during a time when she really needed some support and to be seen and to not have judgment. So same with your partner noticing if you are frustrated about certain things that they're doing, they're not helping you with chores or like cleaning the dishwasher. Notice when you were telling stories about, oh, they don't care. Or they expect me to do that. And fact check and really notice what is the actual truth, because that is going to help you once again, to have so much more of that good energy when you aren't just making up these stories that are making your reality a lot less pleasant. Okay, so you is uplifts and unites N is nervous system regulation. I is inner compass C is the three CS compassion, curiosity and connection. Oh, is objective instead of subjective. And R is respect for resilience. Unicorns know that respect is an absolute non-negotiable priority. And that starts with the way that they are treating themselves and their body. They know that no matter what happens in life, They are going to treat themselves and talk to themselves with respect. And they also respect their body. They recognize that despite the messages from our society and the hustle and diet culture, that your body is the enemy or an inconvenience that you need to control or ignore, they know that their body is the one thing in this world completely devoted to taking care of them. It's like a really devoted dog that is just always following you around. Loving you wanting you to be safe. And that means that they have a respectful relationship with their body and they recognize that their body has basic necessities that it needs in order to be able to do its job and those basic things like water, real food, rest, movement, sunlight, fresh air those are prioritized because they understand that that is the only way that their body and brain can function optimally so that they can show up with good energy. And interact with others in a way that feels good. And so some examples of that would be as a veterinarian, I used to have so much anxiety about making a mistake that would harm my patient. I definitely still don't want to make a mistake, but one thing that helped me to not just obsess about it and just to be like, paralyzed thinking about how my life would be over if that happened. I made a promise to myself that if I made a mistake or something happened to my patient, I would have my own back. I wouldn't let it ruin my life. I would not let it mean something devastating about me because I knew my positive intentions. I knew that I cared. I knew that even if something happened and I lost my license, I'd be okay because I would embrace all those other things that a unicorn does. And I would embrace compassion and curiosity. And I would keep moving forward. Another example is for your body, right? It means that you are not telling the story that you are too busy to take care of your body and to make time for basic necessities like drinking water throughout the day, you are making that a priority. Same with starting the day with a nourishing breakfast that's going to give you energy instead of just rushing out the door and not giving your body, any fuel for the day. Uh, it means carving out time for you, even when you feel like there are lots of things that are urgent remembering that the things that are most important often are not urgent, right? And that you need to make that a priority to carve out time so that you weren't always running on empty so that you can show up with that good energy that people notice. In order to have that good energy you have to be giving your body the basic necessities that it needs. And say your workplace generally is good about making time so that you can have lunch, but there's just one of those days where things happen and it's crazy. And you're working through lunch. Even though things feel crazy hectic, and you probably are thinking about all the charts that you need to do, or you're juggling things. It means that you are looking for a way to make it possible for you to sit down and pause and eat for 10 minutes. Because you respect yourself and your body and your brain. And you don't feel bad speaking up for these boundaries, because you know, that that is so important for your brain to be able to do its job. And you also respect your patients who are under your care. And you respect the clients who are going to be interacting with you. And you know that if you are hangry and you haven't given your brain enough food so that it's just working so much slower, then that isn't treating anybody with respect. And of course, respect goes for the people that you were interacting with. There has to be mutual respect in any relationship. And so with a client that can look like using all of the communication tips I've shared like there are all these strategies for, if you have a rude client and you recognize it's not personal, something is feeling overwhelming and you get curious about what that is and you try to make your positive intention clear and re-establish safety and to help them to feel seen. If you do all of those things and this person is just not interested and they want to be blaming you or they are not able to regroup and be respectful. Then that is where you create a boundary because nothing good is going to come from that relationship. And you respect yourself enough to not put up with people who are not willing to respect you. And so that's when you just let the client know, like this only works if there's mutual respect, so this is not the right fit. Where can I send your records so that you can find a better fit? This respect is so key for resilience, because notice how you are prioritizing the things that are so important for your body and brain to be able to support you. And you are also creating boundaries around things that could be really draining. So we are almost to the end. U is for uplifts and unites N is nervous system regulation. I, as for inner compass, C is for the three CS compassion, curiosity, and connection. Oh, is for objective versus subjective. R is for respect, for resilience and, N N stands for. Breaking the norm. Unicorns understand that in order to show up with that good energy, you have to be willing to break the norm in order to help to create a new one. And because the actions and your choices and the way that you're navigating life are coming from a place of compassion and respect and being in tune with your needs and what you need to show up with good energy that just lights up those around you. Then you recognize that the things that you are doing differently are things to celebrate. They're not things to be ashamed of. So it may be that you are the first one to start speaking up for boundaries that you need at work, or maybe you're the first one who starts going for a walk during your lunch break. It may be that you are the only one who is not drinking when you're out with friends, because you've realized that that actually makes you feel awful. And since you have been embracing other unicorn qualities. You actually don't have social anxiety and you realize you can have a lot of fun without the hangover or expense. It may be that you are eating differently from most of the people around you. For example, when I travel, I'm always reminded of how different, the way that I eat is from the norm. To me, it seems totally normal. It's what I have in my kitchen. It's the automatic things that I eat. But when I'm traveling, I'm reminded, like, for example, the breakfast that are available either at the hotel or the conferences. And so I know that I break the norm. I know that my breakfasts, especially my breakfast bowls of goodness are not the norm. And so I just am able to plan ahead for that. For example, when I travel, I bring things like sardines, or I will stop at a grocery store when I get into the next conference that I'm going to in Orlando and I'll get some supplies so that I have them in my hotel room. And that is just my norm because if you eat the things that are readily available, then I probably am not going to have great fuel and going to things like conferences, it's a place where I want to be able to show up with that good energy and I know that that starts with respecting my body and giving it what it needs to feel good. And so with this breaking the norm, being a unicorn, really tuning into being that person who just has that special energy that people notice. An important thing for you to realize is that regardless of where you see your status, like if you are already an established leader, or if you are, maybe you're a vet student or a new grad. You can be a unicorn and you are going to be leading by example. Because people are going to notice the things that you're doing, and they're going to notice your energy and they're going to want to know what you're doing because it is magical it's uplifting. Right. And in the veterinary profession and in our world, we really need a paradigm shift. It doesn't make sense that our systems and the norm leads to being unhealthy and unhappy and overextended. And that means that we need to start doing things differently. And that really circles back to that first quality that U uplifts and unites. We all together can really support one another and celebrate when we notice someone else who has those unicorn vibes. And to help you to get jump started I have a free choose your own adventure unicorn challenge. So unicorns have good energy because they are treating themselves with compassion and they are prioritizing basic necessities. Right. And so I've created this unicorn challenge for you to get jump-started with that. You have four simple habits that you can choose from. And these are habits that I've chosen because they are simple, but they are so powerful when it comes to supporting your energy and mood for the entire day. And I want you to get to experience the difference one little shift can make in the way that you feel. And so it's just a seven-day challenge. You can choose what you want to focus on. You can choose from staying hydrated, starting the day with a nourishing breakfast, walking for at least 30 minutes per day- it doesn't have to be all at the same time just 30 minutes, total, or a couple of techniques, including writing down your successes daily to encourage a positive mindset and to boost your confidence. So the way it works is you sign up, you get an email, you click on whichever one you want, and then you get emails supporting you and with tips. For example, if you liked some of the things I was sharing about like blood sugar or the way your brain works, you're going to get all of that. Like all the life boost, BS, belly, brain, blood sugar, that will be kind of intertwined throughout the emails that you get. If you, after the first week are feeling super motivated and excited about the energy and mood boost, you can absolutely choose another one. It is all up to you because you're going to tune into your inner compass, right? So you can sign up for that at www.lifeboost.today/unicornchallenge I'll also leave the link in the show notes and if you participate, I encourage you to share your journey like post on social media, any time like share your nourishing breakfast, or that you were hydrating or when you were going for a walk, share a selfie or share a success and let's use a hashtag. So I would say#breakthenormbeaunicorn, I'm also thinking about like#unicornvibes, and then I'm going to have another podcast episode coming out soon, talking about unicorn successes and lessons. So stay tuned for that in the meantime, cheers your inevitable health happiness and success