Ep. 38 | Do Selfies Make You Uncomfortable?

In today’s podcast episode we’re talking about selfies! Do you love them? Avoid them? Judge others for taking them? I share my own journey from absolutely never taking selfies to learning to embrace them. Honestly, I used to judge others for taking selfies. One super important life lesson I’ve learned: any time you’re judging someone else, it’s time to stop wasting negative energy on them and to turn inward to see what’s really going on.

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I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.


Music: “Play Thing” by Ketsa
From Free Music Archive

Connect with me on your favorite social media channel: Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn!

To learn more about my approach and the programs and free resources available to support you, visit my website: www.lifeboost.today

I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.

Transcript

0:01

Hey life boosters. This is Dr. Amelia health coach and veterinarian here to help you ditch yoyo, dieting people, pleasing and perfectionism by breaking the norm and living a life that energizes you from within. Let's talk about selfies today. So yesterday I posted on Instagram, and for the picture, there was a selfie and someone commented on it just saying like, isn't it awesome that we are living in a time when you can just like, Upload a selfie just because you wanted to, or because you felt pretty or just like wanted to show up in the world. And I thought that that was such a, a great comment, but it also made me really reflect on how much I have changed. And, um, just wanted to share, I think. While we are living in a time when posting selfies and sharing them is becoming more of the norm. I think that there is still a lot of mind drama behind that and sometimes judgment and thoughts. And I know that that's something that I really struggled with for a long time. So, um, so I never used to take selfie. I didn't even post on social media. I had accounts, but I very much just enjoyed staying and not being seen and just like reading about what other people were doing or appreciating other accounts. And, if I ever took. I just, I didn't even take a selfie, but the thought of it made me very uncomfortable and anytime I would see pictures of myself, I would just instantly judge, I would look for any little thing that I didn't like about the photo and I would judge it and it didn't matter what I looked like. I, that was like my automatic first thing. When I see a picture find all the flaws, that's just how my brain was programmed. And that also symbolizes just how I was showing up in the world too. Am an introverted person, but now I think I'm more like an extroverted introvert. probably because of this shift that I've had, but I was. Always told growing up, like the one thing that teachers would say is you're so quiet and everybody would say that about me. You're so quiet. And the reason was because I just, I didn't like being seen, I liked being, um, praised for doing well. I was a very good student. I was very well behaved. Didn't break the rules. Um, but. That I just didn't wanna draw any attention to myself. I just wanted to be perfect pretty much. And you know, even in the, especially like a group setting, I didn't like to speak out a lot because I was worried, like, what if I say something stupid or what if I'm wrong? Or what if someone doesn't like me? Like, it was much. Safer to just stay quiet and to observe rather than risk that vulnerability of being seen for who I truly was and having somebody judge me because, the opinion of everybody around me mattered so much to me, that was everything for me. Because as a high achiever, I thrived on that praise and approval from others. I didn't know how to get that internally from myself. So going back to the selfies, not only did I not post selfies, honestly, I judged those who posted selfies. There were thoughts of like, You know, how self-centered are they, like what a weird thing just to like post a photo of your face. And there were a lot of critical thoughts that came up around that. And I now have come to the point where I recognize anytime I am judging something that somebody else is doing. It's time to check in with myself and do some inner work. I need to stop focusing on this other person and start getting curious about why their behavior is kind of triggering me and making me feel judgemental and critical in some way. Because when I really stopped judging that other person and asked why that was bothering me, I mean, really what it came down to was I was jealous. I was jealous that they were so comfortable in themselves that they could post a photo that made them feel pretty or that they could post a photo and just be comfortable being seen, because that was something that I was judging myself so much, that I did not have that freedom at all. And so not only was I like holding myself back from that, but it was like this judging of everybody who did it because, because I couldn't do it. And I didn't realize that for a really long time, as I went on my journey of just starting to pay attention to the thoughts and beliefs that I was living with and the way my inner critic was just constantly beating me up and judging me and telling. Me that I wasn't good enough. The more I started to. realize that those were just thoughts and I could have other thoughts. And that started that transformation of starting to just be kind to myself, even just starting with calling out those times. Anytime I would look in the mirror and instantly judge myself. I would have those thoughts, but I would replace it and I would just be like, oh, that wasn't really nice. And then think about a different way that I could think about it in a more kind and loving way takes a ton of repetition. It's not something that's just happens overnight where you're suddenly like, oh, I've been kind of judgemental and hard on myself. So I'm just gonna like, you know, be super loving. Respectful and take all the selfies. No, like it takes, takes a lot of practice and there's still definitely a part of me. Like when I post a selfie that is like, this is a weird thing to do or, you know, people aren't going to, people are gonna think it's so self, you know, people will think all the things, you know, and, um, now I'm, my brain is so good at quickly being like, so what truly doesn't matter because. All that matters is the relationship that I have with myself. Because as long as I am loving and respecting myself, truly the opinions of everybody else around me, doesn't matter. It is the absolute key to resilience is just letting go. Any external sources, whether that's the number on the scale or the thoughts that somebody has about you, your grades, any mistakes that you make, if you let all of those stop determining your worth in the world, you can truly conquer anything. I just want you to think about that for a minute. Like, what if it really didn't matter? Or if you said something silly that people questioned, why would you say something like that? What if you did say something that was wrong? What if you did make a mistake? And what if. All of that could happen and you would still have your own back and be just as loving and respectful towards yourself because you know, your true intentions, you know, that you are doing the best you can in this world. And you know that as long as you just check in and get curious about yourself and why that happened and how you maybe wanna do it differently, or how you can learn and grow in the future, as long as you always come back to. you will find incredible resilience in this world and everything will be so much more comfortable and you'll start feeling okay with just showing up and being seen as you are in this world today, not once you have achieved some ideal or goal that you've come up with, just showing up as the authentic version of you. So, if you don't ever take any selfies, that's what I wanna challenge you to do this week. Just practice just throughout the. Take a selfie. Notice what thoughts come up. Notice if you instantly look for all of your flaws, notice what thoughts you're having about other people who are taking selfies. And just start getting curious, think about how you could take a much kinder and loving approach to the way that you are treating yourself. And one thing that will absolutely change the way that you experience this world is any time you notice that you are starting to judge somebody else, turn inwards, stop wasting energy and mind drama. And energy thinking about that other person and start turning in and reflecting on why that bothers you and to let that not add negativity into your. You have so much more power than you think. And so much of it is just the thoughts and beliefs that are in your brain and the relationship you have with yourself. Okay. Cheers, cheer, inevitable health, happiness, and success.