Episode 32: Stress Management - Where Do You Even Start?

Does stress management sound like a luxury?
Is your "stress management" drinks at the end of a long day?
Are high intensity workouts your only from of stress management even though you're exhausted?

We live in a society where everyone is stressed and yet no one is really dealing with it or processing it. Knowing that you're stressed and having awareness about the way it's impacting your body physically and mentally are two very different things.
When life feels overwhelming, the thought of stress management can even be stressful! It's hard to know where to start. In this episode, I share 3 steps to help you get started with stress management even when you're busy.

Posts mentioned in the show:
Micro-Stressors: The Silent Stress Majorly Impacting Your Health
Completing the Stress Cycle
6 Hacks To Decrease Your Stress in 10 Minutes or less
How To Get Into Yoga When You're Type-A
How Meditating Changed My Life Even Though I Hated It

Connect with me on your favorite social media channel: Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn!
Learn more about how I can help you here!
I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.

Music: “Play Thing” by Ketsa
From Free Music Archive

Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical, mental health, or professional advice. I am a certified health and life coach, not a licensed medical or mental health professional. Please consult with a healthcare provider before making any changes to your physical or mental health routines. If you are experiencing a crisis, seek help from a qualified professional or contact emergency services.

Connect with me on your favorite social media channel: Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn!

To learn more about my approach and the programs and free resources available to support you, visit my website: www.lifeboost.today

I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.

Transcript

0:01

Hey life booster. This is Dr. Amelia health coach and veterinarian here to help you ditch yo-yo dieting people pleasing and perfectionism by breaking the norm and living a life that energizes you from within. We are going to talk about stress and where to even start. I was inspired to do this podcast because of a recent conversation. I was having with a client who was saying like life is stressful. So what are you supposed to do? Like, how are you supposed to not have stress? Like, are you just supposed to like, pretend that it's fine. She wasn't sure what to do about it because life has stress in it and that's unavoidable. And I hope that was a really great question to address because that's so true. And there is a really important distinction between stress management and. Avoiding stress to begin with. So what you don't want is to be trying to pretend that everything is fine and that things aren't stressful, or just trying to be positive about certain situations and not allowing yourself to actually have emotions because emotions are really normal human. Behaviors that are really important, right? Like emotions are what make it so that we experience life. Can you imagine going through life without emotions, without the joy or sadness or fear or overwhelm or love all these emotions are what create that amazing experience that is life. Yeah. You don't just want to have happiness all the time. You want to, you want to have the appropriate emotions based on what you're thinking and what's happening around you. And that's a really important thing to us. But then there's also a big difference between knowing that your life is stressful and understanding how that shows up in your behaviors and your actions and within your body and knowing how to effectively manage that because. Yeah. Life has stress and that is absolutely unavoidable, but there are times when we really have so much control over the way that we react to certain circumstances. There are some things that are in our control. And then when that's not, when stress is unavoidable, We do have control over how we help our body and we support our body through the whole stress cycle and how we help it manage stress. So that there's a balance between the stressful events and the stressors in your life and the outlet for. All right, you need a pop-off valve, otherwise you're just going to continue to accumulate these stressful events and you're going to carry them with you. And that stress is going to do creative, terrible things in order to get your attention. That's what we don't want. We just want a comfortable balance. There needs to be a proportional amount of stressors to your stress management techniques. It's very uncommon that people do have that balance. Our lives are really stressful and we tend to think of stress management techniques as a luxury. We don't have time for them, or just don't even understand, how to release stress. And often don't even understand that you're actually stressed in the first. You know it again, there's a difference between knowing your life is stressful and actually knowing when you are truly stressed, sometimes it sneaks up on you. That's what I wanted to talk about today. So where to start with stress management, or even like starting to be more in tune with when you are stressed, there are really three. Categories that I want you to think about in three steps. First step is just starting to acknowledge where stress shows up in your life. Just increasing the awareness of when you're stressed and how that's affecting you. The second is minimizing the stressors that you do have control over in your life. And then a third is prioritizing outlets that actually work for your body. That's key. We'll talk about that more in a little bit to complete that stress cycle so that you have resilience. And so that there is that balance. so that stress isn't taking over your life or your body. So let's start with number one. First, you have to just start with acknowledging when you're stressed and increasing your awareness about how that influences you. So what that could look like is once again, approaching life as a researcher, and I want you to really start observing your actions. Right. Pay attention to when you start behaving in a way that doesn't really feel like you. So are there times when you get kind of like short tempered and you see things that in the moment that you really wish that you hadn't, or you really don't have a lot of patients for, um, For those around you or for things that you typically would be able to tolerate. And any time that there are those behaviors that don't feel like you that's something to tune in on, it could also be isolating. It could be suddenly being really, really busy. I'm going to do a whole separate podcast episode on the different stress responses and a little bit more details about how to start looking for certain traits and behaviors. That can be a sign that the stress response is showing up. But that's one thing to do is just to start observing and to start finding out like for you, what are the signs that you are stressed? Are you more short tempered, do tend to isolate. Or you have an inability to slow down and you're just like trying to do more and more and more like, how does that show up for you so that you can start to catch when those are happening? Another way that you can start is to see how it shows up in your body. So for me, like I noticed that my jaw will get really tense. Like I tend to, clench when I am. Sleeping at night. And if there's been a lot of stress, like I may even have a headache because I'm like, my jaw is sore from clenching. I may also have hail like really tense in my upper back and my neck. I can notice it sometimes showing up in my stomach that like, not in my stomach. Notice how it of X your app. When you are stressed, do you tend to just like want to eat and eat and eat? Is that like how you are kind of managing it or burying it, or do you not want to eat at all? Just start being an observer and pay attention to how stress shows up with you. Another thing to really pay attention to is your sleep. That can be a big indicator if you're not able to sleep at night, you know, likely there. Some kind of stressor going on something that is on your mind or something that's really revving up your body. So it's having trouble winding down. So that's something to pay attention to as well. And the other would be energy. How is your energy level when it's drained? There are things that are weighing you down and stressing your body or your mind. So all of those things, you know, your behaviors, your actions, how you're feeling in your body, all of those are things that first just start observing, even jotting them down, getting to know yourself a little bit more and understanding the signs to watch for that. You are getting stressed, whether or not your brain has picked up on that or an is telling you that you're stressed or not. Now that kind of leads to number two in that is removing the stressors that you had in your life. So I just talked a little about how sometimes you don't even really notice that you are stressed. And I see that very often with micro stressors. So micro stressors are just these little things that. It seemed like no big deal that happened throughout the day that you probably don't even really notice. You're not really conscious of that slowly accumulate that are like little doses of stress throughout the day. So that eventually you have had enough little stressors that there's one more. Seemingly small thing. And suddenly you have a big reaction to it because that was like the tip of the iceberg. And now you are really stressed. Like now you're aware and micro stressors are something that a lot of the times you can control. So for example, it could be your alarm going off repeatedly. Like, are you repeatedly snoozing? Just like constantly having to wake up. What about you tend to have to like rush around trying to like pack a lunch or find your keys, or just trying to get everybody ready in the morning. You know, do you gen-ed to choose sleep over, having enough time to do all the things that you wanted to in the morning? So you're kind of rushing around and then you're kind of rushing and traffic in order to get to work. What about just looking and seeing that like, oh, you didn't fold that pile of laundry. You see dirty dishes in this. I just like a little conversation maybe with your partner that just didn't go great. All of these little things throughout the day, they really add up and can make a huge impact on how you're feeling. And yet we're not aware of them unless we make a point to start looking for them when. When you do start looking, you can really start to be proactive at seeing, like, how could you maybe do your moon morning routine differently so that you are not feeling like you're encountering tons of micro stressors throughout the day? Could you have a set spot to always put your keys because you pack your bag the night before. what quick lunch options, cause you pack ahead of time when you are driving. Like how can you make sure that you do have enough time? How can you get up and just have one alarm go off? What is a gentler way to start the morning? What's a way that you could bring some joy into your day. What is a way that you can. Bring something joyful into your morning routine. If you haven't already listened to the fearful. Episode, how to minimize stress for you and your pet. That is a great one to listen to in terms of creating a morning routine that really sets you up for success. This is another time to start asking yourself, how am I making my life harder than it has. This is one of my go-to questions. I asked myself this a lot because my default is to make my life harder than it has to be. I'm very good at that. So I constantly ask myself this and that helps me to weed through the things that I'm like, I'm making up and telling myself this story that they're really important. And actually it doesn't have to be that way. And this they're going to be a lot of work that you can do in this department. You could spend a lot of time really looking at different aspects of your life and how you are making it harder than it has to be. You know, are you telling the story that you have to be there for absolutely everybody else and that you can never have a break. Having that expectation for yourself that you have to take care of everybody and that everybody is relying on you. 24 7. That's a lot that is stressful. And think how could that maybe not be true? What are other possibilities? You know, what would happen if you did take, you know, like a 30 minute break for your. What are the reasons why that would be okay instead of what are the reasons why that wouldn't be okay. Yeah. How often are you thinking about the worst case scenario, especially when it comes to you actually taking time for you and taking a break? Versus how often are you thinking about all the benefits and how that is going to positively influence your life and your energy and the way that you're showing up for all of your obligations and all of those people who are relying on you? That's a question to really spend a lot of time on. So that's number two, really looking at all the things that are stressing you, you know, once you start noticing how stress shows up. Start making a list. What are the things that are stressing you out and really get curious about how you could start trimming some of those stressful events in your life and how you can start minimizing. Just start one at a time. Any little thing you don't think about how, like, if you have this little cluttered space, like say there's a clutter drawer, every time you open it, you just see it. And you're like, Ugh, it's just like, you know, that's a micro stressor right there. Just that little reminder that your life is just a little bit chaotic and not organized. And then think about how much. Joy and like how much of a difference it makes, if you just take a little bit of time to organize that drawer. It's amazing. So thinking about that, like, what is there like an appointment that you keep, like, knowing that you need to schedule like a doctor's appointment or a dentist appointment, um, or like getting that thing fixed for the house that you keep saying you need to do, and yet you keep putting it off just. Yeah. How many of those things, can you just check off your list or ditch pure ruthless, And then finally it's prioritizing the outlets that actually work for your body to complete the stress response and to help your body process. This. One thing that happens very often is that we think that once the stressor is gone, that we should be fine. Right? Like there was a stressful event and, you know, like maybe at work, things were really crazy, but then you get home, so you should be fine, right? Like that stressor and that that's immediate threat is no longer there. But your body still needs to be able to process that and to have an outlet for the stress. There needs to be like a physiologic process that happens. And a lot of the time we are not doing enough of the things that help our body actually go through that full stress. Second. And I have a blog post on completing the stress cycle. So I can link to that in the caption. There, the big key that I really want to emphasize here is that you don't get to choose. Okay. Your body does. I used to think that exercise was my stress from. Like I ran a lot and I did high intensity and that was what I did for stress relief. And I did it every day. So check, I had checked that box off and bonus points was that felt really productive. It was a point in my life where I thought a lot about like how many calories I was burning. And so there was like this win-win of like, I'm being productive. I'm doing stress management, like it's healthy And I'm burning a bunch of calories. So that also means that I'm going to be able to like, get myself a little reward or treat, uh, or like some extra ice cream at night ice cream. That was a major ice cream magic. We can talk about that another time, but. My body was telling me that that was not enough stress management. And in fact, what was probably happening looking back in retrospect is that my stress management technique was making my body even more stressed. Because I was already so crazy stressed, my body was never getting to rest. And then my response to that crazy amount of stress was to then push my body extremely hard. Like exercise. It can be a really good stress for your body and it can help you become much stronger. But if you're already in a completely stressed out state having your stress management technique, be the thing that also stresses out your body is not productive. And that took me a very, very long time to really. So you don't get to choose the stress management technique that feels most productive to you, or that feels most convenient or even appealing. What you need to do is find a stress management technique that actually works for your body. What helps your body respond and process the stress so that you are no longer experiencing the effects of stress, whether that is the exhaustion, whether it's the short temper, whether it's like feeling like you don't have to isolate feeling just completely overwhelmed, it could also be in your body. And then the other thing is that you don't just get to check stress management. Your to-do list. Like I thought, like I was like, okay, first thing in the morning, I'm going to work out, check stress management, done. I'm just going to live my crazy stressful life. And yeah, I've got it all. Got it all under control. It's literally what I was telling myself. And I was in denial for a very long time. So if your life is crazy stress. You're going to need a lot of stress management techniques. We're gonna need a lot of tools in your toolkit so that you can try different techniques that work in the moment. Because for example, you know, like if I'm working a shift at a hospital and an emergency comes in, I don't get to just be like, oh, excuse me. I'm just gonna, this is feeling stressful. I'm just going to peace out. I need a little 10 minute walk. I'll be. No, like I need to be there right there. I need to be making decisions and that's not an option. And there are lots of times when you may not be able to manage your stress or in the moment, there are absolutely things that you can do to feel more in control in the moment. And breath work is one of my absolute favorites for in the moment. That's a really great hack of switching it from the sympathetic fight or flight state to that rest and digest just taking a few deep belly breaths that diaphragmatic breathing box breathing. I love the physiologic PSI. That's when you take a deep breath in, and then you take another breath in before you exhale. It's a lot like after a good cry, have you ever like, tend to have that just like big breath in and that side and then, oh, suddenly everything feels better. It's really so. So those are nice things. There are things that you can do in the moment. And certainly there's a lot you can do in terms of your mindset around stressful moments that can help because well, circumstances we don't have control over. We do have control over the thoughts and the thoughts that we have are what lead to what we're feeling. That's a whole nother topic for another day. But there are things that we can do in the moment. And, but yet if I've had a really stressful day, if there have been lots of emergencies and I haven't had any time, she's like processing the emotions and there have been lots of highs and lows. Then I know that at the end of the day, I need to be very proactive and probably the next day, uh, processing through everything that happened until I can tell that I'm kind of down to back, down to base. And I now have become great at that. You know, I know whether I need to talk to friends or I'll go for a walk with my pups and be out in the sun afterwards and I'll probably journal and that there will be some meditating. And I may watch a show that makes me laugh. Like there are a lot of different things that I do now in order to process really stressful days, because in veterinary medicine, it can't be stressed. But that's what that final step is. And that is a journey and a lot of experimenting and figuring out what works for you. But it's hard to know what works for you. If you aren't even recognizing when stress shows up in your body or what's contributing to the stress in the first place. The final thing that I really want to emphasize. And to get you thinking about is that, because so often we are not very in tune with where stress is showing up and what stressors are we're really encountering. It means that stress. We keep a lot of stress in us. We carry a lot of stress around just bottled up without a pop-off valve. And how I say stress is like a border Collie, right? Like we, you may think that when you're busy, it's like coming to you and saying like, Hey, I need to be walked. And you're busy though. So you're just like, okay, well go lie down. We'll do it. Like. And you may think that your border Collie is just taking a nice little nap and the other room being good until you have time for it. But it's a border Collie and they have a lot of energy that needs an outlet and they instead are getting really creative. And destructive in another room in order to get your attention so that that energy can go somewhere. Right? That's what stress does. When you don't think that you have time for it, you may not see the immediate or feel the immediate changes in your body, but it's getting creative and your body is going to keep coming up with more and more creative ways to get your attention. I unfortunately like doing things the hard way sometimes. And I had to wait until I was having crippling stomach aches and extreme brain fog, and I was totally exhausted and just insanely stressed all the time before I had that wake up call and started making changes and really reprioritizing and started to be honest with myself about. My level of stress and whether I was actually managing it, or if I was just in a state of denial. So, that is one reason why I'm so passionate about gut health is because so many of us are just internalizing our stress and we're not allowing to process. And our gut is directly linked to our brain, know the enteric nervous system. The nervous system wraps around our intestines. They are intimately linked and and we cannot pretend that stress does not influence your gut. It absolutely does. It also impacts our blood sugar. Yeah, well, I have a continuous glucose monitor on and, a few weeks ago I was driving and like all of a sudden I just needed to slam on their brakes really quickly. And my adrenaline whew, shot up. I thankfully stopped in time, but I was like, oh, this will be interesting. Cause I had my continuous glucose monitor on and I looked and there was a huge spike in the blood sugar. That's exactly what my body should do in that moment. And then it went right back down because I was back to normal. But if we are living in a state of that adrenaline and that feeling threatened our blood sugar is going to be so high and. Then that just makes it impossible to feel in control of all sorts of things in terms of energy and cravings and weight and metabolism, everything. And that is why the three life Booz bees, brain belly, blood sugar are so important and stress is just so intimately linked with all of them. So. Remember those three things. First start observing, recognizing how stress shows up for you. Start trimming out some of those micro stressors, ask yourself, how are you making your life harder than it has to be. And then three, just start experimenting with stress management techniques. I have lots of different, blog posts all on hacks for decreasing or stress in less than 10 minutes, how to complete the stress cycle, tips on how I absolutely hated meditating and how to get into meditating. You can check out that podcast episode. I have so many resources yoga go for a walk. And less resources. I'm always here for you. The other thing that you can do is schedule a walk and talk with me. If you're just feeling really stressed and overwhelmed with life, and you don't know where to start, I am here for you. Okay. You know what it's like to feel stuck and it's just the absolute worst. So that is why I do what I do. I always want you to feel like there an option and that you can be moving forward and I want to help you to find energy and your life so you can schedule a complimentary when our walk and talk, we will talk on the phone. We'll go for a walk. We will help you to get clarity on your next step. Okay. Stress management is one thing that I am finally prioritizing my life and I am here to help you prioritize it too. Okay. Chair's here. Inevitable health, happiness, and success.