Episode 22: My Most Vulnerable Share and The Key To Overcoming "Weaknesses" and Achieving Inevitable Success

Are you letting shame, embarrassment, or perceived weaknesses hold you back in life? Are you hiding a part of you that you worry would make others think less of you?  In this episode, I share a recent scenario that I previously would have seen as a fail and would have been embarrassed and ashamed to share. Instead, I see it as an amazing opportunity to move forward and grow in so many ways. This episode is packed with tips for overcoming "weaknesses" and building confidence, resilience, and achieving inevitable health, happiness, and success. 

Connect with me on your favorite social media channel: Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn!
Learn more about how I can help you here!
I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.

Music: “Play Thing” by Ketsa
From Free Music Archive

To learn more about my 6 month coaching program, the Aligned Success Reboot visit: https://www.lifeboost.today/aligned-success-reboot

Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical, mental health, or professional advice. I am a certified health and life coach, not a licensed medical or mental health professional. Please consult with a healthcare provider before making any changes to your physical or mental health routines. If you are experiencing a crisis, seek help from a qualified professional or contact emergency services.

Connect with me on your favorite social media channel: Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn! 

To learn more about my approach and the programs and free resources available to support you, visit my website: www.lifeboost.today

I love to hear from you. You can always reach me at amelia@lifeboost.today.

Transcript

0:02

Hey life booster. This is Dr. Amelia health coach and veterinarian here to help you ditch yo-yo dieting people pleasing and perfectionism by breaking the norm and living a life that energizes you from within Okay, fuck all up. This is by far going to be the most vulnerable podcasts I have had to date going to be super honest. Um, and the reason is that I think that it is really important that we all start talking about things that. We may perceive as weaknesses or as something embarrassing, or that,, could make us feel ashamed. One common theme I see with so many of my clients is that despite being truly successful, intelligent, really amazing people, They are living with some kind of deep shame or embarrassment or kind of hyper-focus on a perceived weakness. And that ends up showing up and impacting their life in a lot of ways. And often they're not even really recognizing that that's happening. So these are people who have really great jobs or they're in a really amazing place in their life. And yet they don't see the true success. and they don't see how great they truly are, because there's something about like the path that they took to get to where they are that maybe didn't look exactly like they had planned. Or there's something, maybe it could be like neurodiverse, maybe their brain works in a little bit of a different way than what is traditional or maybe their timeline. Hasn't just, hasn't been exactly what they anticipated. You know, they, they all are. Hyper-focused on one thing that they don't view as a success and. What that ends up doing is making it so that they're really beating themselves up. Like they're not able to appreciate the success that they have now, because there's something that they want different or something that they wish was different. And they are on this mission to prove to themselves that they are. Of where they are, you know, this is where imposter syndrome really sneaks in. And there's this thought that like, you're going to be found out or you shouldn't really be where you are. You're not truly good enough. Like if people only knew this like secret or weakness about you, there's no way that you would be, you know, where you are now. And that shows up and like, I'm just working super hard, you know, thinking that they have to work harder than everybody else, or just like taking on so many things in order to prove themselves, um, that's making their life really stressful and it's making it uncomfortable and it's just making it so that they're not able to live and enjoy in the success that they have in the moment. It's sad to see that, that hiding, you know, and that need to like keep it a secret. And that fear of being found out, because it's so often as it's like, it's such a big deal to them. And yet for anybody else, like an outside perspective, it's not a big deal at all. And everybody around them sees them as like a truly. Successful person, you know, someone that they look up to or that they want to be around. And yet they individually aren't able to, to realize that. Now what I wish is that we could all be a little less secretive, you know, that we didn't need to hide these perceived imperfections and these weaknesses that we could talk about. Unfortunately, the really common thing that we see in this society is that, we don't feel brave enough to share our challenges until we feel we have overcome them. And we have achieved like the ultimate second. You know, then maybe like once you finally improved yourself and you've reached your ultimate goal, then you're able to like open up and, and show like how, you struggled with this and yet you were able to overcome it. But what if we started talking about it before that like ultimate success? Because the thing that happens as well as. So many people around us are struggling with the same things, and yet everybody's afraid to open up about it and to be vulnerable. What happens is that we all are so focused on our own weaknesses and we're comparing that to the Instagram highlights and the successes that we see and those around us, and that is impossible to live up to. it's so rare that we notice the flaws and weaknesses of those around us. And yet we are so good at focusing on every little thing that doesn't go right. Or perceived weaknesses, just so good at judging ourselves. And so that brings me to. My story, where I am today and what I want to share with you now, not once I have achieved the, the ultimate, success that I envisioned. So today is the first day of the next round of the life boost jumpstart program. And I have one amazing client. And now you'll notice that it is called a group program and I have one amazing client. So that was not my plan. But that is the current scenario. And I am actually super excited to give this amazing client who took that big leap in signing up a truly incredible experience. Now, the old me. Would have led a whole lot of judgments, creeping the judgements would have been were number one. It would've somehow connected the number of sign-ups that I had with my confidence and my worth as a coach. And I'm going to share what has helped me get to this place where I am seeing this as an, a really amazing opportunity to not only deliver this incredible experience for client, but to also move forward and to grow my business. And. That comes down to really embracing curiosity and ditching judgment and also finding my inner researcher. Now I could have let the scenario of having one sign up for a group program, be really embarrassing or shameful, or I could have given it a lot of weight and meaning. So things that could have come up, I could have thought, you know, what will the client think since she had signed up for a group program, what will others things. What do I think like possible thoughts could be like, this group program is going to be a failure. No one wants to do this program. You know, you're a terrible coach. Those are all possible thoughts. I could've come up. Right. The thing that is all of those, like thoughts and worries get in the way of moving forward. And a lot of those thoughts. I about others are totally out of my control anyways. So how can I approach the thoughts around this fact of one signup, um, as a researcher and seeing this just as a data point in order to move forward. So what will the client think since you signed up for a group program? Well, she'll, she'll probably be excited because she still gets the group support from the private Facebook group, where there are amazing people who have gone through this experience already and are going to be able to share their support and are continuing to return for coaching there. And yet she'll also get one-on-one coaching. It's amazing. What will others. One really important thing that I have finally realized is that that truly doesn't matter. Or, you know, it's out of my control, what others think. And I am bad at guessing, you know, my brain tends to think like worst case scenario, it tends to dwell on things. It tends to think that people are as judgmental about me, that I am on myself and that's really not true. So, you know, one thing. It's just not worth wasting mental energy with that guessing game. Another thing I've realized is that most people really are just so focused on themselves that they're not even thinking about you and the other is that probably no one's even paying attention to like, who cares about the number of sign-ups. Probably no one would have known, um, or very few would have, until the moment that I decided to broadcast this on my podcast. So, I really encourage you if you tend to dwell on worrying about what others are thinking of. It is completely freeing when you just stop worrying about. And then, you know, what do I think that's a really good area to really spend some time because you do have so much more power over these thoughts than you may think. And I do encourage you to listen to my podcast on getting into meditating, even if you really don't think it's for you, because that does has given me so much more power to. Just miss thoughts that aren't serving me and to create new thoughts that are. And so I know really looking at the possible thoughts that I could have had and, and they gave out how I can create thoughts that really serve me, you know? So that thought that could creep in, you know, this group program is going to be a failure. Um, You know, but what, what are, what is the proof around me that that's not true? You know, I've had several clients go through this program and they have had amazing transformations, they've had great testimonials. And so I had that number of signups. It isn't at all really related to what the program couldn't deliver. That's more in relation to the second that no one wants to do it. And with that thought really what the reality is is that no one is seeing the true transformation that's possible, or maybe they're not understanding what the program can do, because if it's. People did understand what was really possible in that short, like seven week period of time and how much of a shift they could have and their whole life moving forward, then they absolutely would want that. Then it would not be something they would be wanting to put off. And so this is really an opportunity for me. To take this as a data point. Like what I did, maybe didn't work very well. And this is a place where I needed to understand more. What is holding people back, maybe what people don't understand about the program? How can I say it in a way that helps people to have this little bit of urgency? Like this desire that. Of seeing what is possible, believing that that's possible and, and wanting it. And that's something that, um, is really fun to figure out. And it's a place where I can ask for help and, um, reach out and get more information and become better at that part of my job. Now in this scenario with one client signing up for a group program. I really have two options, right? One option is to either cancel or postpone it until I like to wait until I had the perfect scenario that I had envisioned that I had the full group in order to move forward. The other option is to move forward and to create a really incredible one-on-one experience for this individually. Now with that option of, postponing, I actually I have a group coaching forum that I brought this up earlier in the week that this could be a scenario and one person asked, do you have to have the start date April 5th? Because um, many coaches will cancel if they are. Fully booked. And my answer without really having to think was yes, yes, I have to have it on April 5th because I have one client who did that big, brave thing of believing in herself and seeing what was possible in signing up for this program. And there is no way in hell that I'm going to make her wait. Because I didn't fulfill what I had envisioned. No, what I see is a really exciting opportunity for one thing. I'm actually really excited to see how this program will go as a one-on-one, two month program. And I think there's potential that this is something that I may want to offer in the future. They're also like new videos and things that I want to add onto my program. And I'm really excited to make that apart. so I want you to see how, if I had let judgment or my ego or the path that I had in my mind, if I had let any of those creep in, it would have. Just postponed thing. It would have paralyzed moving forward. I know would have just brought in all these, all this mind, drama and judgment, but instead I am seeing this as a data point. I always am embracing my inner researcher. What this tells me is that the first time that I launched my program, I did a better job of helping others see the transformation that was possible for them, or to feel that sense of urgency compared to this time. And that's really valuable information. I see that as in terms of helping others to understand what this group program does, I'm still not doing a good enough. That has absolutely nothing to do with my coaching ability or the program. What it has to do is understanding what others need in order to see what's possible for them to believe it's possible for them. And to want that so much that you don't want to wait because. I know that if you knew what this program would, do you know if you are currently, just feeling uncomfortable or stuck, or if you're confused about what your body needs or you've struggled with weight loss and nothing has worked. Like, I know that I can get you to a place where. You're not worrying about that, where you finally understand where you have so many light bulb moments when you've started, when you've created these habits. And you've created this lifestyle that you want to keep up with that when someone offers you like a piece of cake, you aren't having to like white knuckle it and have this drama of like wanting it, but like trying to restrict yourself, you can actually see. And say no, and truly not want it, or if it is a really amazing piece of cake, you can just have the damn piece of cake and be fine and be glad. And I pray and get joy out of that. Like, I know that that is possible for you. I know that I can help you to make your life so much easier unless uncomfort. But I am not helping you to see that right now, your life is more uncomfortable than it has to be. And I'm not helping you to have a sense of urgency that you want it. Now I'm still somehow enabling you to, to postpone that. And that's something that I really want to learn and grow. Now for anyone who can relate to maybe. Being successful, but having a lot of enter judgment or imposter syndrome and, you know, really not seeing your worth. Let's talk a little bit about confidence because when you have shame or embarrassment or judgment that doesn't leave room for comp. When you're constantly focusing on your weaknesses. How can you possibly be living life, feeling confident most of the time, that's how you have that imposter syndrome sneaking. And that's something that I have really worked on so much because as like the type a people pleasing, perfectionist, that all of that was just constantly on how I could be better and judging myself. And I'm not at all celebrating or acknowledging my wins and successes. And certainly the. That little practice of writing down my little successes each day, and then every week writing down those successes and every month writing them down., has been very helpful, and has led me to a point where I think there are To really notable things that have helped me so much with a place where I am now and being okay. Any time there is like a bump in the road or challenge. one is that I've reached this point where I just have this very like calm. Confidence and sense of knowing that what I am doing, like as a coach and, and in my life, it is what I am meant to be doing. Like all of the experiences that I've had leading up to this point has led me to now, and I'm at this point where I am living my life, that fulfills my authentic code and my core values so much. And I know that. That I am great at what I do and that this is what I'm meant to be, and that it's going to continue to bring me happiness and it's going to continue to help me. Help others have the same transformation that I had going from just feeling so stuck and burnt out and miserable unconfused to this point of feeling free and confident and energized. And that just fills me with joy every day. The other big thing that. Has made all the difference is that I trust myself that has not always been the case at all, but I know that I always have my back no matter what happens. So for example, with my business, I have a new group program. And that means that there's a learning curve to being able to explain or help others understand what the program can offer and so that's really something that I can embrace because it's a learning opportunity and I trust that I will learn that. Um, it's just a matter of time. This has been huge in so many aspects of my life. Life is full of ups and downs, right. And there are times when, like, for example, with eating, I'll eat, you know, more than I. Wished that I had, and that this was a time when I'm like, Hmm, my eating behaviors. Aren't, what's normal for me. So like, what's going on? Why am I doing this? And it makes it so that I just problem solve. And I recognize that, like this isn't my normal behavior. And so. I asked what I need and I, when I do that, there's always an answer. And that always leads me forward to. So you feeling better? Same with like, if I notice that I'm really irritable, I know I'm like, this doesn't feel like me. And so I just check in with myself, like what's been going on with my life, like what's happening, what thoughts are coming up that is making it so that I am not really feeling like the way that I want to. And as long as I approach life in this way, I continue to get more and more confident because there's just this sense of safety and trust and security and myself that no matter what happens, I've got it because if, as long as I'm not judging myself, that's truly all that matters. I really want to encourage you to take some of these things of just getting curious, to starting that journey of really partnering with her body and trusting herself. Cause I promise. Change your life and the most amazing way it truly has given me so much freedom and, um, and resilience. Resilience is the biggest thing that no matter what happens, no matter how hard it is that I can work through it and I can support my body and I can learn and I can move forward. And that is really the key to combat. Start looking at your weaknesses as an area where you can move forward and you can continue to grow. It's not proof that you aren't good at what you do. It's just an opportunity to get even better. And when reminder that you're never going to be in a place where you have no room for growth, that's a crappy place to be, because growth is really exciting. There's always something more to learn. The world is changing and in, or like doing like inner growth work is one of the most fun things you could possibly do. There, there will always be like a perceived weakness. And as long as you don't give it weight and let. Like overshadow everything else. You're going to be able to move forward. This is crazy important when it comes to your health journey, because there are always going to be times when you don't feel like completely perfect in your body. There are going to be times when you need to be troubleshooting. There are going to be times that are stressful. The circumstances change. And as long as you are supporting your body and having that in our researcher, and just getting curious about like how, what your body needs for support and like why things aren't working and how you can move forward, then that's how you're always going to be able to get sustainable results. And you're going to be resilient and you're not going to just have things spiral out of control. Now let's summarize so far. So if you can relate to being really hard on yourself, not seeing your successes, if you have something that you are feeling very ashamed about, burst about a big weakness, then first I want you to ditch the judgment, embrace curiosity. Well, you to find your inner researcher, and I want you to use whatever, like perceive failure as a data point and use that to move forward. Don't let judgment per paralyze. You just see it as another data point and an opportunity to move forward. Start writing down your successes daily, look at the proof that you are deserving to be where you are right now and celebrate your successes and where you are, even if you're not yet where you want to be. Start talking about these. Now I'm here, just broadcasting this. So whoever's listening to the podcast. You could start maybe a little bit less all out, maybe just talking to a friend or family member about it. When you start talking about the things that you are crazy shamed about, or you're embarrassed about, it starts to take that power away from it because suddenly it's not this big secret. And other people are going to be supportive. Maybe you're going to find the other people are struggling with the same thing. And if you can just take away like the weight that that is carrying on you, you are going to be able to move forward and such amazing ways. And then finally really recommend asking for help. So, if you have perceived weaknesses, how could you strengthen them? You know, if there is something that you are ashamed about or embarrassed about, like how could you ask for support or help? And that brings me to my final. So I am really excited about this, one-on-one program now that I have created. But what I do see in this data point is that I am not doing a good job at helping others understand. The transformation that's possible. So if right now you don't feel good about the way that you are treating your body or you have been working on weight loss, it's just not happening. Or you tend to really just like beat yourself up. You're having low energy. You are not feeling the way you want to in your body. Then I would love to know, like, what is holding you back? What are you afraid of? What makes you think that. The, uh, transformation and that like overcoming this isn't possible. And why, or why does it seem more comfortable to stay where you are instead of moving forward to finally getting relief and to loving the way that you look and feel? I have room to learn and grow. And if you could reach out to me and just share your experience. Share some of your vulnerabilities or things that you are embarrassed about or perceived weaknesses know that I am here for you 100% and I, I want to help, you know, what's possible. And I would love for you to let me know what, what you need, what. Do you need to, to take that leap? What I want to do is I want to lovingly bother you. That is my goal. I want the lovingly bother you until you take that step to change your life. To finally trust yourself around food. To finally understand how to weak up and love what you see in the mirror, how to not let the number on the scale dictate the way that you treat your body throughout the day, how to live a life that makes you feel free and confident and grateful. I know that transformation that's possible for you because I have gone from feeling miserable and stuck and confused to feeling so incredibly energized and excited about life and just feeling in control and confident. And that is what I want for you. So I hope that this helps you. If you're feeling stuck or shamed, know that you are way more awesome than you are giving your self credit for I 100% guarantee, no, that whatever you are struggling with, you are not alone. Remember that you are comparing yourself to everybody else's Instagram highlights and know that. The more, you can reach out to other people and talk about the things that you perceive as a failure or a weakness, the last weight that's going to have, and the more free you're going to feel. Okay. All right. Cheers. To your inevitable health, happiness and success.